What living in Japan taught me about EQ:
I lived in Japan for 11 years and it’s fair to say that my mind has been shaped by many Japanese customs and their way of life. The Japanese way is quite familiar to most of us- their famous food, their art, culture and for the active – their ski slopes!
I came to Japan in 1996 before the advent of social media – we were just beginning to get familiar with desktop computers and I believe cell phones were just beginning to come into the market! (those giant ones). Hence, I landed in Japan quite clueless– In those days, Tokyo was different than today - amongst other things English wasn’t spoken on the streets and hence every outing was an adventure. Learning the language became a No. 1 priority!
And, Via language, I learnt some pretty awesome concepts and here are four of my favourite:
Itadakimasu: A Thank You
This word is uttered frequently and means to humbly take, receive, accept, or get something. Although, people say it (like Bon Appétit) just before a meal with (almost ) folded hands in the form of a prayer, to convey thankfulness to receive this meal, often the word is used to receive other items too. I find this charming as if we need to remind ourselves that a meal is a sacred time – and perhaps it also vibes with my Indian family upbringing of “Think and feel postive thoughts while eating!”
Wabi-Sabi (WAH-bi SAH-bi)
This again is a very popular concept – it is hard to explain but in short the Japanese concept of beauty lies in appreciating the imperfections found in nature as all things of the natural world are impermanent and thus beautiful. I guess, I like it because I am surrounded by messages to the pursue the perfect life! Perfect spouse, perfect house, perfect job, etc etc. And the pursuit is most stressful when it comes to people – we can tear down people for the smallest mistake! Even the imperfections of age is shamed by the cover up of cosmetics and surgeries. But, nature is not perfect and yet we get mesmerised by it, don’t we?! I say this to myself whenever I get upset – someone is late, is rude, lets me down or just life, you know, its not perfect!
Ichi-Go-Ichi-E (ih-chee-GO ih-chee-AY)
This four character idiom originated from the traditional tea ceremony, where every meeting was an occasion to be treasured. It can be roughly translated as: "Once, a meeting" and also as "In this moment, an opportunity." Oh, what a beautiful concept! Pure mindfulness. This moment is unique and it will never come again and I can meet this moment with all my attention. Imagine bringing this to all your experiences especially with your loved ones – no feeling unexpressed or no words unspoken. I have watched my kids growing and each year has been “non-returnable” until finally they have flown off!
Another custom: To fortify with heavenly support, I carry tiny symbols of good luck in my wallet: Turtle is my favourite as it is supposed to bring its owner at least 10,000 years of good fortune. I also have tiny Daruma Doll. The Daruma, which is being modeled after Bodhidharma, a monk accredited with the founding of Zen Buddhism, is a traditional Japanese doll that symbolize perseverance and good luck. And I also have Omamori – Japanese Lucky Charms. Omamori simply signify a symbol of protection and blessing for many purposes like good fortune, academic success, money and business, good health, safe childbirth, love, happiness, safe travel and many other auspicious meaning. in Japan, you can buy them at buddhist shrines! Why not ask for heavely protection?
It brings a unique flavour to my life to understand these concepts and be influenced by their rich wisdom. It allows me to appreciate people and circumstances that are not in my control, show up in gratefulness to receive the treasures of life and live every moment in the present.
As a Life Coach, I want to bring these concepts to live in daily life and especially now in 2021 as we see the mixed results of the 2020 pandemic. Ever more uncertain of our future, surely if you embrace these, you will have lived many moments and these times without regrets. Emotional intelligence practices involves just these concepts - after all the final purpose is to live life to it’s highest awareness.